娱义相与嘻

笑话二则，博君一笑。

（一）

有两只母鸡在树下聊天，对面走来一只脚步不稳，无精打采，垂头丧气的公鸡。

一只母鸡问：“怎么啦？病了？累成这样？”

公鸡说：“做点小买卖累成的。”

另一只母鸡跟着问：“做什么买卖劳累成这样呢？”

公鸡脸红，低下头说：“卖鸡精。”


（二）

深夜，在最后一班巴士里仅剩一名白衣女郎坐在后排。

司机开着车，看倒车镜时女郎不见了！他一惊，急忙煞车。回头一望，却见女郎还在。

司机心惊胆颤地继续开车，再看倒车镜时女郎又不见了！他再煞车，回头再看。女郎却还在那儿。

司机冷汗直冒，又继续开车。再看倒车镜——女郎又不见了！司机崩溃了，紧急煞车。再回头看时，惊见女郎缓缓向自己走来。女郎头发凌乱，满面是血... 司机的身体僵硬得动弹不得，吓得尿都流了出来。

只听见女郎低沉的声音吼道：“老娘跟你有仇啊？每次老娘我绑鞋带，你就煞车！？”

Ownership

At this day and age, u'll be surprised to still find so many women in our community who're so subserviant to their husbands. A few cases that i remember vividly from my houseman days shall give u a glimpse of this situation...

#1
After a tiring day of work as a cleaner, wife was preparing dinner in the kitchen of her humble small house and so the kids were left playing on their own in the living room. The jobless alcoholic husband came back, drunk, was outraged when he saw the kids left 'unattended'.

He picked up an iron chair and went into the kitchen, "Why are u leaving the kids in the living room unattended??!!"

Before the poor wife could give a response, "Bang!!!" went the chair onto her head. And I had to spend an hour suturing the 30cm-long laceration on her scalp...

#2
Wife, grand multip with a terrible obstetrics history, made a close 'U-turn' at the door of death due to severe post-partum haemorrhage. When advised for a tubal ligation, she refused.

"My husband does not allow me to do that."

"But it is your own health!"

"No, my womb belongs to my husband."

"..."

#3
"Madam, can I have your identity card for registration?"

"Oh, it's with my husband la. He keeps it for me."

"Do u know what medications are u on?"

"Oh, my husband knows. Go ask him."

"When was your last menses?"

"Don know la, ask my husband."
(Yeah, he'll know best... cos his needs couldn't be satisfied during that few days, isn't it? LOL!)

Communication Skills - UK vs Malaysia

Luckily I attended a course and did attachments in UK before my MRCP PACES exams. Got the chance to adapt to some ways of communication with patients which are different from back home. Let me illustrate some of them...

#1

Malaysia...
Doctor : AUNTY, sudah kahwin kah?
Patient: Belum lah dokter.

UK...
Doctor : MADAM, are you married?
Patient: What do you mean 'are you married'?! Are you discriminating against those who are not??

(Should have asked, "Madam, may I know who do you stay with?". If the patient is married, she'll probably say "I stay with my husband". Or else, she'd say "I'm staying alone." Understood - either single, divorced, or whatever!)

#2

Malaysia...
Doctor : UNCLE, itu ubat semua ada makan kah?
Patient: Adalah dokter.
Doctor : Betulkah ada makan? Kalau ada, apa pasal itu gula dalam darah manyak tinggi?!
Patient: Hehe... kadang-kadang ada lupa lah dokter.
Doctor : Kadang-kadang? Apa maksud kadang-kadang? Satu minggu lupa satu kali ke, satu minggu lupa tiga kali ke, hari hari lupa?
Patient: Hari-hari ada lupa juga la dokter...
Doctor : #@*$&% Ini ubat ha, manyak mahal punya tau, hospital bagi free kasi u u pun tak mau makan kah?!

UK...
Doctor : SIR, are you taking your medications regularly?
Patient: Doctor, are u implying that I'm a bad patient who don't take my medications as advised? I want to see another doctor!

(Should have said "Sir, I can see that u're on quite a number of medications. I have patients who have similar illnesses as you have and are taking many medications as well. Some of them find it difficult to take so many medications that they tend to forget to take their medications. Do you have similar problems?" Duh! Make a big round... same also what!)

#3

UK...
Doctor : Sir, we've got the investigation results back. It does show some problem. We SUGGEST that you start taking this medication called prednisolone, which is a type of steroids. Have you heard of this drug before?
Patient: Yes doctor, I heard that there are a lot of side effects with this steroids.
Doctor : Yes you are right. What side effects do you know about steroids?
Patient: I've read somewhere that steroids can cause (blah... blah... blah...)
Doctor : Wow I'm impressed that you read a lot and u're very concerned with your well-being. That's wonderful. But we are SUGGESTING this treatment to you as the benefits outweigh the risks, the reason being (blah.. blah.. blah...). WHAT DO U THINK?
Patient: OK doctor, in that case, I agree to take the steroids.

Malaysia...
Doctor : Uncle, itu result sudah balik lah. Ada problem sikit. Dokter CADANGKAN u start satu ubat la, nama ubat itu panggil prednisolone. Itu satu jenis steroid la. Uncle pernah dengar nama ubat ini kah?
Patient: Ya dokter, pernah.
Doctor : (surprised) Betul u pernah dengar?
Patient: Pernahlah dokter... you baru cakap saya pun dengar lo! Hahaha!
Doctor : *@!^#@*... Ok, ok. Ini ubat ha, baik untuk penyakit u la, tapi ia ada manyak side effect jugak. Antaranya (blah... blah... blah...). Fahamkah?
Patient: Faham dokter.
Doctor : Betulkah u faham. So APA UNCLE RASA? BOLEH START ITU UBAT KAH?
Patient: U dokter ka saya dokter? Apa pasal u tanya balik saya boleh start ke tak boleh start. U dokter ma... u patut bagi saya tau mau start ke tak mau start ma! Apa ini dokter... macam tak pandai punya.... U baru kerja kah?
Doctor : (faint! I'm MRCP UK Comm Skills trained ok!!)

Otel.com

Have used Otel.com to book all the accommodation during our Europe trip. Came across Otel.com since our honeymoon in Egypt. It's one of the many hotel-booking sites available. U can get hotels at a price much cheaper than the desk rates. When we were in Egypt, we even managed to get 4 to 5 star hotels at a super cheap price. Another good thing about this site is that it gives you rebate credits everytime you book a hotel and you can use these credits to get further discount during your future bookings.




Vegas Hotel, London - USD76.




Hotel Ritter, Milan - USD73.






Hotel Tryp Verona, Verona - USD84.




Hotel Airone, Venice - USD85.




Hotel Caravel, Rome - USD68.


Hotel Giada, Florence - USD50.




Kyriad Nice Centre Port, Nice - USD87.




Hotel Corona, Cannes - USD85.






Hotel Campanile, Avignon - 99 Euros!! (booked from hotel website directly, not via Otel.com)




Hotel Printannia, Paris - USD77.

All the prices quoted are per room per night, inclusive of breakfast except the one in Avignon. But one thing to be careful is you need to search for the location of the hotels very carefully on google maps cos some may be very far from the city center or tourist spots. If that's the case then it would not be a good idea to book such hotels. Hope this post can be of help to some of you!

Dhammapada for Sujana 法句经赠师兄

伟良吾兄迁新居，嘱余书南传法句经首二句偈。余因事忙，迟迟未能动笔，心存愧疚，遂于赴英之前书以赠之，得此。

“诸法意先导，意主意造作。若以染污意，或语或行业，是则苦随彼，如轮随兽足。
诸法意先导，意主意造作。若以清净意，或语或行业，是则乐随彼，如影不离形。”

款识：南传法句首二偈。伟良先生清嘱，己丑如月 東暐于崇皓堂

Back to London

After about a week in Netherlands, we finally flew back to London by EasyJet. Spent 3 more days in London before ending our Europe trip this time.


Her Majesty's Theatre.


Manage to get discounted tickets and good seats from the TKTS booth in Leicester Square.


Before the show started.


The stage and props covered up.


Ice cream seller in the theatre.


It was drizzling outside after the show.


This was what we watched... superb!!


Went all the way to this shop near Kew Gardens to try out the original "Maids of Honour".




The one which looks like an egg tart on top is the Maids of Honour. We tried the sausage roll and other pastries as well. They tasted quite nice.


Camden - heaven for punks.










Stables Market.


Used to be a horse stable, it is now converted into stalls.


Stable D29.




Since 1854.


D38.




Some old collections sold here.





And that's the end of our Europe trip series this time.

The Netherlands 7 - Flowers and Utrecht

There's something very special about the climate in the Netherlands. Flowers are so beautiful everywhere - parks, gardens, neighbourhoods, streets. Everywhere.
















The 13th-century canal wharves well below street level are unique to Utrecht.


Dining while cruising.


Dom Tower - the highest and oldest church tower in the Netherlands.

The Netherlands 6 - Rotterdam

Rotterdam is the largest port in Europe and the second largest Dutch city. We had a feast of modern architecture here...


Architectural aesthetic...










Overblaak development with its pencil-shaped tower.


Cube-shaped apartments.


Cube.




Unique eh?


Roadsign.








Don poo on us!

The Netherlands 5 - Madurodam

The two of us went to Madurodam, "the smallest city in the Netherlands" ...


...and so we became giants!


Many other giants.






Giant Sasa...




Some details.


Alkmaar Cheese Market.




An average of 30,000kg cheese is on display there at any one time.




Mini red light district.


Mini train.


The apparent friendly Giant Sasa suddenly turned violent!


Oooh, mini-Mini also destroyed!


But I was worse! Hehehe...


Amazed kid.


Mini-Keukenhof.

The Netherlands 4 - Amsterdam 2

Lots of vibrators in there.


Which one do u like? More interesting than Jimbo's! :P


Men, this way!


Pee pee booths. This one more enclosed.


These are more open! (photo by Sah)


Wanna watch a movie?


Old Church right in the middle of the Red Light District, with its tower commands a magnificient view of the area - one of Europe's great moral contradiction.


Artwork in front of the Old Church - itchy hand!


In the afternoon. Business hasn't begun - curtains closed.


The windows.


No photos!


This fleshy prostitute is more hardworking - open for business early.


When darkness began to fall...


...the streets started to turn alive.


Window shoppers. See which one u like, the girl will open the door for u, draw the curtains and in you go! 50 euros for 20 minutes.


Hey...come i!. (Risked myself and my camera being thrown into the canal for this photo ok!!)


Erotic show.

The Netherlands 3 - Amsterdam 1

Van Gogh Museum.


Enjoyed the stories and paintings very much!


Giant clog.


The Magere Brug.


"Uitgezonderd Brandweer" can be translated as "Except Firefighters". This was a sign in front of a fire brigade origonally meant to say "no entry except firefighters" but some creative chap with a sense of humour added a sperm to the sign. That would mean no sperms can enter except firefighters' ?? LOL!


The Sex Museum in Amsterdam.


Cool...


Some guidance for the newly married in ancient China. 内有乾坤！


Chick with big cock.


I was amazed! :P


Ooooo!


Hey!


Tada!




"Coffee shops" that don't just sell coffee.


"Under 18 no entry... and don't fuck around!"


Apart from coffee...


Get high... it's legal.


This girl is getting the effect and laughing away non-stop.

The Netherlands 2 - The Kinderdijk

Kinderdijk... one of my favourite place in this trip. Enjoyed the leisure and scenery here and we remembered calling our parents at home amidst the windmills. See the photos and u'll like this place.




There are 19 windmills there in total. These are stone windmills.










Dandelion. 蒲公英。






飞...


Inside a windmill - the living room.


Tools and utensils.


Going upstairs.


Scoop wheel.


Old clogs.




Feeding...


Nice reflection.




Octagonal windmill.


My dear. I like this photo.






The sky turned stormy just before we left...

The Netherlands 1 - Delft

New Church.




Delftware - blue-and-white pottery duplicated from Chinese porcelain.


No Keukenhof to visit... just these wooden tulips.:)






Some antiques...




In the Netherlands, fries are "soaked" in mayonese.


The old church. Johannes Vermeer and Anton van Leeuwenhoek are among those whose tombs are in this church.






Spent quite some time at this quite spot in Delft taking this series of portrait using tripod. A pair of old couple were there throughout the process, enjoying themselves. Maybe we sparked some memories of theirs?


The old windmill in Delft.




Canal.




Door covered with Delftware art.










This place is simply beautiful, isn't it?


Coulourful display at a wine shop, including two dodos which went extinct as a by-product of Dutch colonisation in Mauritius.


On our way back home - on Tiem Leong's bike.


Me updating my blog and dear writing diary in Tiem Leong's studio.


Tiem Leong made supper for us.


With Tiem Leong.